Kate Moss is a cocaine-hoovering trollop on a catwalk

One of the fun things I do regularly is Rostrum – a public speaking club. The other night we had a balloon debate and at the last minute I was drafted in.

A balloon debate is where there are three people in a leaking hot air balloon who are arguing over a single parachute. The audience has to decide who gets the parachute based on a three-minute speech, and a 1-minute rebuttal, from each of the people in the balloon.

In this case I was Angelina Jolie, as the scheduled speaker was unable to make the meeting.

Anyway, I was Angelina Jolie, and I was competing with Kate Moss and David Beckham for the parachute. In the course of discussion I may have described Kate Moss as a cocaine-hoovering trollop on a catwalk, and said that David Beckham was washed up with a dicky knee.

Both of which I am sure is true.

In the middle of the speech, two guests came into our meeting, just as I was describing how, as Angelina Jolie I was ‘up for it – you know what I mean boys’. Complete with a lusty wink, patched jeans, and a fat-lipped smile. To this day I’m not entirely sure that our guests knew exactly what was going on :).

It was a lot of fun, and Angelina Jolie won the debate. Yay me!

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